Love, Courage, Ham and a Spoon
by eratheia
Summary: In which Akira struggles with the inner contents of his turban.
1. Love

**_Love_**

* * *

~AKIRA~

Today was as it always is, just another day undercover. Despite the fact that tracking aliens was my passion, I didn't know if I could survive high school for one more minute. Honestly, it was boring, the work was menial, and the kids were annoying. Keeping my eyes open in class became a daily exercise. Also, I had to sit through Haru's frequent claims every morning, "Hi, classmates! I'm an alien!" Then, he'd do the Enoshima Dance, and I seriously considered using yoga to give myself a concussion. If it weren't for Tapioca, I couldn't relive my high school days again. There was one other thing that kept my school life interesting: My turban. More than that, what I could store inside of it.

Every morning, I packed a bowl of curry, a slice of hickory-smoked ham, and a spoon into my turban. I thought it would be more fun than using a bag, and my turban also had a cooling compartment to keep the food fresh. I found it hilarious how my classmates had their lunches in paper bags with doodles on them, or in tin lunch boxes with some superhero or anime character on them. It was beyond obvious that I had them beat in the style department.

Normally, the food I brought with me was for lunch. However, today during Algebra II, I got quite hungry. I couldn't ignore the rumbling in my stomach, so much that I almost fainted. In any other class, it would've been easy to sneak a bite of food. Unfortunately for me, my math teacher had hawk eyes and was a stickler for discipline. If he caught me eating in his class, it would surely be the death of me. I had to be stealthy about this, but first, I had to decide what I wanted to eat.

_Should I go with the ham or the curry? This is a tough decision. Hm… well, I could always eat the ham later. I'm in the mood for curry. It's final! My love for curry is too great not to devour it! I will eat it, and I will eat it with pride! CURRY!_

Though I would be hungry during lunch, the taste of the delectable dish was well worth it.


	2. Courage

_**Courage**_

* * *

~AKIRA~

About three things I was absolutely positive: First, there was curry in my turban. Second, there was a part of me, and I didn't know how dominant that part might be, that thirsted for my curry. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with curry. Only one thing stood in the way of me and my favorite dish:

The teacher.

He would surely have a fit if I were to randomly pull a bowl of curry out in the middle of class and blatantly ate it. Regardless of that, I didn't care enough about being reprimanded to starve until lunch time. So, I pretended to reach down into my bag to pull out something. Then, I took the bowl out of my turban and set it in my lap. Haru glanced over at me, confused. I motioned him to stay silent and continued to dig around for my spoon. I couldn't find it.

_Where the hell is my spoon? How can it not be here? This is ruining my master plan! Ah, shit. Well, here goes nothing._

In a fit of anger, I cupped my bowl in my hands and drank the curry as the Japanese drink their soup. It was one hell of a mess. The sauce got all over my white dress shirt, my tie was covered in carrots, and various vegetables fell to the floor beside me. But for the large portion of curry that I actually got to eat, the chaos around me meant little.

"Akira! What are you doing?"

I nearly choked on my food at the sound of my name. When I lowered the bowl to my desk, I noticed that the curry made a brown mustache on my upper lip, my classmates were staring at me, and the teacher looked at me in disapproval. In the face of adversity, only courageous men prevailed in the end. I may have lost the battle of authority, but I did win the fight of hunger. So, seeing that my predicament couldn't get any better, I continued to eat. The worst that could happen was getting expelled. If that were the case, then I'd just have more time to eat curry. All in all, it was a win-win situation.


	3. Ham

_**Ham**_

* * *

~TAPIOCA~

I was starting to like my partner. He was an intelligent, skilled man. Or at least, I thought so. All the other ducks were right, my love for being spoiled had clouded my judgment. This man, Akira Agarkar Yamada, was a complete moron.

I had never, ever seen someone eat curry with their hands. How gross is that? I swear, if he didn't brush my feathers every morning, I would be out of there quicker than he could wrap his turban. This embarrassing situation that we were in did have one pleasant outcome, though: The ham. He was too distracted by his classmates and his barbaric eating tactics to pay attention to the ham. He left it in his bag when he was looking for the spoon. All I had to do was mosey on over there and get it.

See, what Akira didn't know about me was that I had already surpassed him. He didn't look at us as equals. In spite of this, I was able to speak three languages along with Japanese, I was a stealth specialist, and all of my feathers could be used as weapons at any moment. Whether he believed it or not, _I_ was _his_ superior. I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle when he told the DUCK Agency that he had finally found the perfect pet for him. Silly man. On the contrary, I had found myself a pet human. He brushed my feathers, gave me pudding, polished my beak, gave me a bed twice the size of a cat's, washed me in bubble baths every Friday and I had full access to the television. Ha, who was he kidding. I am the master.

And this master was going to take the ham that was rightfully hers.

I waddled under the desk to Akira's bag and snatched the ham with my beak. I had to find a way to get the aluminum foil from around it without being noisy. Carefully, I slipped the ham beneath my beak and went over to Haru. He was so naïve and easily malleable. With him, I merely had to play as a dumb, affectionate animal and I would get what I want.

Tactfully, I rubbed my plump side against Haru's leg. Instantly, his eyes lit up. Just a bit more coaxing and I was finished. I sat on his feet and continued to caress his leg with my head, similar to felines. He pet my back in praise. As much as I adored being petted, I couldn't stop there. I scooted the ham over to his foot and tapped it against him. Getting the hint, he unwrapped the foil for me.

I feasted like the queen that I am. Foolish humans.


	4. A Spoon

_**A Spoon**_

* * *

~AKIRA~

"Akira! What are you doing?'

"Sensei! I was merely having an afternoon snack."

"Ah, I see. This is why you're twenty-five and still in high school." He sighed and went on. "Just get a handle on your duck and go to the front office."

"Tapioca? What did she do?'

I looked to my side and she wasn't there. After scanning the room, I found her underneath Haru's desk with my ham. He was feeding her. Whatever the case may have been, Haru hadn't left his seat for the duration of the class period. So, that meant…

Tapioca took my ham? Part of me thought that she must have been hungry and meant no harm by it. The other part of me was infuriated that she stole my ham right up from under my nose! I felt bested and betrayed. Infuriated, I stood quickly and slammed my hands onto the desk, looking at Tapioca accusingly. In the heat of the moment, just as I prepared to speak, I heard a tiny clank onto the tiled ground.

My spoon fell out of my side pocket.

All of this could've been avoided if I'd just had my spoon.

A bit dumfounded at the circumstances, I blankly sat down, picked up my spoon, and ate my curry. And whoever had the guts to stop me better have been a serious contender in the art of yoga.


End file.
